Although it is rarely considered or appreciated, the face down position is perhaps best for massaging the female body. This is not to imply that the front should be neglected, only that the back should be paid more attention.
Why is the back so important? There are two primary reasons. The first is simply a design of nature. In the natural world males always approach (and join) with the female from the rear. Evolution has designed the female genitalia to be entered from the rear, as opposed to the face to face, western "missionary" position. Nerve endings of the female genitalia are genetically arranged to be most responsive from the rear. The inside of the thighs and labial lips are more sensitive to touch, when stroked from the rear (as opposed to the front).
Some would argue that face to face intercourse is more intense and fulfilling. This may be true on a purely emotional level, even without optimizing the physiological connection. It's simply a matter of which is more important, the mind or the body. During love making the mind is often capable of reaching significantly higher levels than the physical being.
Another reason that massage from the back may have an advantage, is that a woman often feel more comfortable and relaxed, as her body is less exposed. The feeling of the "face down" position is conducive in fostering a sense of well being, which in turn makes it easier for the woman to "let herself go".
A carefully arranged and nurturing atmosphere is essential to achieving the greatest possible pleasure. Plan on at least one hour (at a very minimum) of completely undisturbed and uninterrupted time. The massage can be conducted on a reasonably firm bed; a platform design is still better. The room should be warm and draft free. A significant amount of oil (1-3 oz.) should be expended during the massage. Always keep in mind that you can never apply too much oil. Do not spare the oil, lavish it! Use only specially formulated massage oils [we use citrus scented water soluble grape-seed oil in our studio]. A wide range of scents are available, of which the
most pleasing should be selected. Be sure to arrange a number of bath size towels to protect the bedding from the excess oil. Soothing music and candlelight will greatly enhance the atmosphere. Turning off the telephone is absolutely essential! Prior to the massage, it may be desirable to take a short shower, as opposed to a hot bath. A bath often tends to loosen the outermost layer of skin, which when waterlogged will shed (creating gritty particles) and interfere with the massage.
Beginning the massage
Instruct the receiver lay face down; her face resting either on her own crossed forearms or a flat pillow. You (the giver) will be seated on the edge of the bed or platform. The receiver's midsection may be covered with a towel, for the purpose of warmth and modesty [depending on the depth of your relationship].
Begin the massage by exposing the receiver's shoulders and neck. Pour a liberal amount of oil into the palm of your hand, and rub both hands together vigorously so as to warm the hands as well as the oil. Avoid pouring the oil directly onto the skin, unless it has been previously heated. Although you are performing a sensual massage, the pressure you exert may be firm enough to have some therapeutic value. Be sure to use sufficient pressure so as not to tickle the receiver. Most particularly the neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, buttocks and legs. The genital region will require the least pressure and the greatest sensitivity. The massage should be performed in a radiating manner... neck and shoulders, arms and hands, individual fingers, back, thighs, calves, feet and toes. As the receiver becomes progressively more relaxed, the towel covering her waist may be removed.
The buttocks may now be massaged in a circular motion, followed by long vertical strokes beginning at the waist and ending at mid thigh. Each stroke moving progressively further inside the thigh, toward the labial lips. Alternately stroke the base of the crease between the buttocks, brushing along the anus (rosebud). After stroking the rosebud, allow your hand to glide down to the labia. This should be repeated in an up and down motion (from above the rosebud to the labia and back up again). Do not penetrate the anus or vagina during this phase of the massage.
Position the receiver's legs somewhat apart. Too wide is not necessary. Gently grasp and stroke the labial lips with your fingers. After the lubrication seeping from the receiver's vaginal opening becomes more evident, begin to stroke the clitoral hood. If the clitoris is already exposed and swollen, begin to rub it directly, using the pads of two fingers (index and pointer). Be very careful not scratch with your fingernails! Vary the amount of stimulation to clitoris, through speed and pressure. Ask the receiver which she prefers. The answer may vary from one individual to another.
As her level of excitement grows begin gently reach into her vagina [which should be quite open at this point] and massage sides of the vaginal opening. You may continue to stimulate the clit with the pad of your thumb. Or you might massage her rosebud with the pad of your thumb, while twirling the clit with two other fingers. Do not enter her anus unless she desires this. In which case it is recommended to use a latex glove, to be sure that there is no possibility of irritating this most sensitive area (even short and well manicured fingernails may cause discomfort). After becoming aroused some women may reflexively begin to raise their pelvis, by pulling in their knees closer to their chest. This position not only raises their rear end, but further exposes the clit, vaginal opening and rosebud. Caressing and stroking these magical elements simultaneously, or alternately can produce a virtually endless cycle of orgasms.
Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "sacred space" or "Sacred Temple." In Tantra, the yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is particularly important for men to learn. Before beginning the Yoni Massage it is important to create a space for the woman (the receiver) in which to relax, from which she can more easily enter a state of high arousal and experience great pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) will experience the joy of giving pleasure and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of "safe sex" and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex
therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma. The goal of the Yoni massage is not solely to achieve orgasm, although orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal can be as simple as to pleasure and massage the Yoni. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and do not have to worry about achieving any particular goal. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return, but simply allow the receiver to enjoy and to relax into herself.
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to breathe deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or begins to take shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is most important. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to encourage the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching her Yoni. Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver should tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. need to be increased or decreased. Limit your conversation and focus on the pleasurable sensation, too much talking will diminish the effect.
The Crown Jewel:
The clitoris is an amazingly complex structure, similar in function to the male's glans, but surprisingly - up to four times more sensitive. The glans portion of the clitoris holds 6,000 - 8,000 sensory nerve endings, more than any other structure in the human body. This hypersensitive node has only one purpose: pleasure. Nothing exceeds its ability to receive and transmit sensations of touch, pressure or vibration. The glans are the "crown jewel" of the clitoral system! Stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to relax and breathe. Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. It is important to remember that this is a massage in which you are nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, "the sacred spot". She may feel the need to urinate, experience a little discomfort or most hopefully pleasure. Vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well. An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. [In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is gently massaging her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand."] You can use your left hand to massage her breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use the thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of the hand resting on, and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. Continue massaging, using varying speed, pressure and motion, all the while continuing to breathe deeply and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Some women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of immeasurable value to her. If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." In ending the massage, slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to relax and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.